Dire Thoughts

#OccupyLSX, Tintin, Spooks and more.

Posted by Henry - 27/10/11 at 12:10:34 am

EXTREMEFANS I hope you enjoy this new theme, for a start.

Recently in the world there has been a tumult of protest. Unlike the Arab Spring or the riots however, this isn’t a protest against dictators or JD Sports’ high prices on Nike Air.  I tell a lie. It is of a similar matter. I am talking about the #occupy protests occuring, worldwide, sparked in some ways by the Arab Spring revolutions. Originating from #OccupyWallStreet, these protests are against the social and economic inequality in the world.  Most of the #Occupy protests are based around #OWS  (I use the hashtag as that is how it tends to be referenced) , with the protests which are more like an encampment. My local #Occupy is #OccupyLSXE.  Camped outside St Paul’s Cathedral, this is the nearest location to Paternoster Square, home of the London Stock Exchange. I haven’t been there but I must state I am slightly annoyed by the fact that St Paul’s was forced to close due to the protests. It is, after all, the nation’s church. Yet I hold no ounce of disrespect for the protesters and support both them and the canon, who is being great at dealing with the matter.

 

Moving on.

Spooks, or MI-5 if you’re American. — WARNING SPOILERS –

 

Oh. My. God. The end of an era. A great television engine has ended, disappearing in a lovely bloody tinted cloud, with the very last episode airing. For those of you who don’t know of Spooks, it is the drama that has been going on for 10 years, regarding the going-ons of MI5, the UK’s security service. Specifically, Section D, counter-terrorism. Well-known for brutally murdering main characters, to replace them, including in the very 2nd episode where they killed what was thought to be a main character in a deep fat fryer, Spooks is violent and great. But it achieves to be so brilliant due to some great plot writing, some great actors and probably the best British production team there is, kudos. Creating great characters isn’t easy. But what is hard is killing them off at the right point when the audience has built a great connection with them. Take for instance Tariq Masood, the techie of the group.  Killed in the 2nd episode of the last series – something that totally took me despise and I was not expecting. OUTRAGE STRIKES! NOOOO TARIQ! NOOO Ros, Adam, John/Lucas, that other guy that got hanged, etc. It’s difficult to talk about the finale without mentioning any spoilers, but what the hell. Some great performances all around. The plot was great and I must accept and tell you all that towards the end of the episode I did feel a slight ball in the throat due to the great emotion behind someone’s death, accentuated by the great return of Harry to the grid. But the highlight? Harry’s outside agent. OH MY GOD IT’S TOM QUINN HAHAHHAHA YAYAYYA. For those of you confused and backing away, Tom Quinn (Matthew Macfayden) was part of the original cast. Officially decommissioned and “dead” having screwed up an operation, he is used to do the dirty work of Harry. He only said 1 sentence but still ahahhahahahha yay.

Ok you can calm down now.

Tintin – finally! The movie, now looking like the Polar Express. Just better. Why? BECAUSE IT IS WRITTEN BY STEVEN FUCKING MOFFAT, the genius behind Doctor Who and Sherlock.  Here’s a pic.

It was also co-written by Edgar Wright and Joe Cornish, who are also both epic. But my friend lives 2 doors away from Steven Moffat. And the Moff goes into my friends restaurant. Which is epic. And I live 5 minutes away from said friend! So if some scripts of Sherlock somehow get onto ebay, I know nothing. Remember? Nothing.

Now, whilst the Moff isn’t conjuring up magic for the Beeb, he occasionally outputs his epicness into stuff, like Tintin. I watched this film on Tuesday, in “glorious goddamn 3d glasses don’t fit over your glasses properly” 3D. Woop. It was very good, and had some good voices – it had simon pegg, too.  But guess what. PETER JACKSON. Thus a trilogy :/. So it didn’t really end, which was a shame. But it wasn’t 3 hours, I guess.  Still, Tintin was brilliant. Good voices, epic animation, some funny in-jokes for the actual readers and people who were looking for them and a great conversion of the brilliant books. Well done Moff, Bell, Craig, Pegg and co.

Now then EXTREMEFANS, it is 1am. I ought to sleep. If I feel like expanding on this large post I shall. Now begone whilst I imitate a duck-billed platypus.

H./

Twitter (I’m currently talking to a famous internet person (Y)) – or just use the sidebar, yknow. Or the header. I DUNNO “shrugs”

 

 

 

THE ADVENTURES OF HENRY, PART 1 OF X

Posted by Henry - 21/10/11 at 09:10:16 pm

Hello EXTREMEreaders.

Anyhow, I feel like telling you about mah day today. Aside from the boring waking up and eating pancakes (Y), I went to the haven of London’s youth (yoof) known as Westfield White City. Commonly known as “WESTFIELDS BRUV”, “Westfields yeeeee safe” and “Set me a westfields” (or some horrible crap like that)  to the discerning, disgusting, revolting people (yes I am being ever so slightly sarcastic, which is so unlike me) I am forced to call the members of Generation Z/@/i/Txt , aka the teenagers of today. However, as I am not capable of teleportation, I took the train there, with the panda-loving breakdancing big nosed fellow asian I call my friend, Alex. Whilst waiting at the station for our train, we spotted a grey heron standing infront of the yellow line. It just stood there, as if it was waiting for a train. However, it decided it wanted to fly off, so it went and it flew off, to the other platform. But not on the platform. Next to the rails. It just waits there. It looks around. A train comes. Imagining what will come next, I say “I like trains” (asdfmovie) and, unfortunately for the heron, it got hit by the train. Neck broken. Dead heron. But the thing is, this heron wasn’t looking at the train as it approached. Now London Underground trains are NOT quiet. But it just looked the other way, and did nothing. This is what I imagine the heron was thinking.

“I wonder what these vibrations are? Oh it’s nothing.  Sure? Yeah. Positive. Swear on my life. Huh okay. And the sounds and the big thing moving towards us? Huh? That? Oh that’s no-“

I reckon that’s what the heron was thinking, in its heron mind. So I guess it was a bit of a special heron, schizophrenic and completely unaware of everything.

“Enters Public Announcement Mode - ITS HEROIN I TELL YOU HEROIN DONT DO DRUGS KIDS“

Anyhow, the heron was dealt by the station staff, who used a grabber that is normally used for rubbish collection, and put it in a cardboard box, in a TREMENDOUS sign of respect and dignity.

Also, it was Rapture today. You know,rescheduled rapture. WHEEEEEEEEEEEY HAROLD CAMPING FAIL

To be honest the rest of my adventures of Henry were rather boring. I did watch a film though, Johnny English Reborn. It was rather funny with some good gags in a rather mediocre plot, but enjoyable nonetheless. I would recommend it.

H./

WANT TO READ MORE TRASH LIKE THIS? 

WANT TO WATCH TRASH LIKE THIS?

GOODBYE EXTREMEFANS

My Great Philosophical Conclusions

Posted by Henry - 12/10/11 at 07:10:54 am

Whilst waiting for a bus after a long day, alone in the dark, in my mumbles and self-ramblings that I usually partake in with my good self when bored, alone and a dead iPod, I have discovered my great theorem of the universe, why we are here, and some other things.

Most people think that the Universe is the Universe. Something started the Big Bang, and our world sprang into position, and 13.4 billion years later homo sapiens started putting our noses into things. Now, there are alternative theories or beliefs, such as Scientology’s loony idea that 75 million years ago this thing called Xenu, the TYRANT RULER of the GALACTIC CONFEDERACY took some humans, brought them to earth in DC-8′s and exploded them, then some strange life thing with thetans occured, leading to creation of humanity or some gibberish invented by L. Ron Hubbard. The search is on for the Higgs’ boson, God, et cetera. Terry Pratchett thinks that the Discworld is carried around by the Great A’Tuin (which isn’t too bad, actually…)
But all of these theorems pale in comparison to the glory, uniqueness and most of all, undeniability of the great Philosophy of Henry.

In the Beginning, there was Higgs. Higgs was a “bus” driver. When Higgs started the “engine” of this “bus”, the Big Bang came into existence. All the molecules, all the information, all the energy, EVERYTHING came into existence and was compressed into a tiny point. As the passengers entered the bus, they each sat themselves down, put on their helmets, and lo. The World Sprang Into Existence. The Big Bang occured, as it had on millions of previous occasions. But each time was different. Each time had choices, minute differences in the actions of everything at the beginning. And so the world is generated. The helmet wearer is an all seeing force. Capable of looking down on anything, becoming anything, doing anything, including changing time and space itself. Wormholes – footprints of the Watcher. Black holes – things it doesn’t like.

For those of you unaware of what I’m driving at, my great Philosophy is that the World and everything we know is a semi-randomly generated world, made to entertain someone in an in-bus travel entertainment in some strange metaphysical creational world.

And with that, I leave you.

H./

(Me, delirious? Of course not.)

RIP Mr Jobs

Posted by Henry - 06/10/11 at 07:10:11 am

It would appear that Steve Jobs has died. I’ll be writing more about this later.

H./

5 – Tim Cook = 4S

Posted by Henry - 05/10/11 at 01:10:45 pm

So, the Autumn/Winter collection has come and gone, presented by a dowdy man wearing dowdy clothes. I’m not talking about some Fashion Show, but I’m talking about the Apple Keynote. The expectations of Near Field Communication, a new fancy schmancy design, such as a longer home button, and lots more shiny “useful” typical Apple additions were shattered by this dowdy man. Tim Cook. When the great emperor of Apple fell, he who had guided the nation through a troubling time to become a masterpiece of design and overpricing, the Messiah Jobs, his whipping-boy got the Job of being the new face of Apple. Which is neither an improvement nor a decline, literally. But looking over the way that Apple has gone recently and the rather dull presentation, Apple aren’t going too well.

Let’s examine each of the “new products”.

The iPod Touch 5. Not quite a revolution.

A gyroscope and slightly better camera?

This sums it up.

 

The iPhone 4S. To be honest, much the same!

So back to waiting for the next keynote, and a DECENT upgrade.

 

H./

 

Search